Being comfortable comes with a lot of positives and negatives. Do you agree?
On the positive side, it takes us as human beings (some, not all) a while to get comfortable with a new school, new job, new friend or significant other, etc. It can take years! And finally once we are comfortable, what a relief and ease of potential stress or tension. With comfort your sense of being open and honest, and even trusting can grow and become stronger, which allows relationships and opportunities to grow and heightens your ability to learn. The only thing to fear is change in that comfort.
On the negative side, it’s some of those same positives that can get us into trouble.
In the workplace: The ability to be open and honest can sometimes get blurred on the edge of professional and personal, leading to an uncomfortable situation. We also might be more likely to over look a negative situation because finding a new job and going to the “first day” again is nerve racking and stressful, a pep talk to suck it up often does the trick. In a relationship: Even in a relationship being too honest with no filter can lead to hurt feelings, without intention – the same could go with not speaking up about certain things, sweeping things under the rug because it’s easier. Or being too comfortable to the part where our self-image is overlooked also hurts too. Falling into a pattern of not working out or motivating each other simply because your partner doesn’t, this will only cause tension in the long run.
I had a great opportunity last week to listen to the CEO of Yahoo, Marissa Mayer speak about her experiences and career, and a comment she made struck a cord – I think because I know it to be true. She mentioned that a lot of the opportunities she had came at risk, whether it was joining Google when it was a start-up or leaving Google after 13-years to start a new venture… when we as humans are comfortable, we don’t always like taking a risk or we can’t afford too. But we can. She also said that the ability to learn, opened her up to the idea of change and that change can be good. This really got me thinking about how change and being uncomfortable might be the best thing for us sometimes, even though it is something we often resist.
How will you push your boundaries of comfort today?
Patience is something we can always work on. I do find lately that I notice I have better tolerance for certain things compared to a year or two ago. For example: this past Sunday in church a family with 3-small children was sitting in front of us. Before the mass even started the 4-year oldish boy was having a melt down and getting dragged out of church… During the second reading; the same thing happened, making the reader at the alter look as though she was lip reading. The whole time it was impossible to focus and they were directly in front of us. Normally I would grab B’s arm and give a tight squeeze, squirm around, roll my eyes and maybe even clear my throat loudly… a few times. But I was surprised at how tolerant (yet still extremely annoyed) I was with this for an hours straight. Of course, as soon as we got in the car we both let out a sigh of relief. Still, I realized I had learned patience.
On the flip side of that, I notice that with other things patience is completely out the window. I think it’s because I have high expectations/standards for the people on the receiving end. I need to do a better job at reminding myself that I can only control myself in turn, my actions. How I react could be just as bad as the trigger, creating a ripple effect and ultimately affecting the future – whether it be long or short term.
Will we ever completely learn patience for everything? I don’t think so, but I know we will learn and adapt in situations only to discover other areas to work on – knowing we can always affect the way we react.
My daily quote box in my office inspired me once again:
Sometimes our goals are life related but often times they’re work, or school related; which can lead to hard and negative situations that can so easily get us down or set us back, it’s only human nature. It’s true at times that negatives/set backs can push us forward and make us work harder. But I think more importantly than the negative; we as humans often forget about the positive (guilty) which I think at times so much harder to be cognizant of. As the quote above reminds us that life needs to be enjoyed before our goals can truly be rewarded. To put the icing on the cake, I read another perfectly fitting and great reminder scrolling through my instagram feed last night, @alexajeanfitness posted;
“It’s easy to fall into the trap of replaying negative situations from the day that you wish you’d handled differently. Regardless of how badly the day went, the best thing to do is avoid that pessimistic spiral of negative self-talk because it will only create more stress. Remember to take some time to reflect on the positive moments of the day and celebrate the successes, even if they were few and far between.”
Yes! I did this all day yesterday, replayed a conversation that I wish hadn’t happened, and I wish I’d responded differently towards – and I read this and realized that the entire day I was grumpy and miserable and stressed because all I focused on was the negative. We need to remember to reflect and talk about the positives; and not in a coincidental way (my mom did that yesterday.)
So this morning I finally got a good laugh to snap me out of my grumpy funk, all at B’s expense but it was so needed, so thank you B ❤
I am owning situations, I am owning my actions and I am going to start talking about the positives and start enjoying life beyond my goals. Happy Wednesday!
Lately there has been a lot of not so fun stuff happening, for a lot of people in my life and it really puts life into perspective.
It also leads to a lot of questions like… Why?
Or statements like… That’s not fair.
Sometimes things can easily be accepted by saying; “Everything happens for a reason.” But beyond the internal back and forth of reassuring and questioning, one thing is very evident, life and moments are so precious. That thing at work that might be stressing you out, or that petty fight you’re in with your friend, family or significant other, does it really matter? Do we really need to get all bent out of shape about small insignificant things, when there are much bigger things than ourselves happening? The answer is no.
So here is my challenge to all of you (myself included): do something nice for someone, even if it’s someone who you do something nice for everyday, go above and beyond. Write them a note, give them a compliment. Go apologize to that person you can’t get over a grudge with, be the bigger person. Smile today and be grateful.
It’s a snowy January day and it’s hard not to stop and take a moment and watch the big fluffy flakes fall slowly like being in a giant snow globe.
I love this quote, and today I am trying to pause for the day (and rest of the week) and just be happy and content. One of my goals for 2015 is to live in the moment, and that includes the happy moments. Nothing crazy has happened, in fact I am super busy, lots of plans and busy days are coming, late nights after work with extra-curricular activities, back to back (which I don’t always like). But I am going to enjoy them, have fun, and just soak up the memories and the time.
If there is anything I’ve learned of late, it’s that things change very quickly. Friends/family are starting to have babies… getting married… moving away, and it’s all happening so quickly and a little out of the blue (not so much the weddings) and before you know it we are going to be all old and sitting in rocking chairs talking about that one day in 2015. #Terrifying
But… I digress. Here is my challenge to you: try to be happy with me for the next three days! It doesn’t have to be 100% happy but it needs to be 90% happy. I bet we’ll feel better, things won’t be so hard or stressful, because there is always a brighter side.